"If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or your arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen."

Friday, 8 February 2013

The Adult Learning Centre

Winter Classes for Women at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTRE REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED By Friday, January 18th, 2013

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS

Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past Marks & Spencer Without Stopping?
Group Debate. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Handbag and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Curling Tongs--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet? Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning At 7:00 PM

Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Programme.
Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch -They Make Medicine for PMT - and How To Use It!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.  Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live - How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Upon completion of ANY of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

 **********

I'm still fiddling around with the new pc, transferring files and changing passwords, so have a Friday Funny on me until things are back to normal.

4 comments:

  1. Funny GV. Enjoyed reading it again.

    Class 13 - How cars don't drive themselves because you are: Texting, putting on makeup, changing pantyhose. Special emphasis on how it is impossible to see the road in front of you through the lighted mirror on the back of your sun visor.

    Class 14 - Merging onto the freeway. It cannot be done safely at 35 mph.

    Class 15 - A "line of sight" course strategy between where you are and where you want to be may not be the best choice.

    Class 16 - Red Lights. Yield Signs. Turning Lanes. What the heck ARE these things?


    Class 15 - I Dream of Jeanie outfits; they're available on the internet at reasonable prices.


    ReplyDelete
  2. Again? You mean it isn't new? *hangsheadinshame*

    As for the rest, Kid, you should be ashamed of yourself. Don't you know that only women are allowed to make jokes about women?

    I do like the sound of Class 15 and the Dream of Jeanie outfits even though I don't think you're either a blonde or a woman :) Me? I could wear one but think the genie in the magic lamp would be vexed to find different ways of saying: Lessons will be learned; we do this for you; this is for your benefit... ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Those went around in email over here a while back..

      All of my classes are offered to truly help those in need ;-) And keep the freeways clear.

      In fairness however, Here are the classes for the men

      Delete
    2. Thanks for the link - very funny, esp the class differentiating between floor and laundry basket :)

      Delete

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